February 1, 2021

We snuck the old 8 mm movie cylinders out of the home. The box was broken down on one corner, and the blue cases inside were fragile.

I remember the first time I watched them. My mother-in-law took out the archaic projector and flashed the films on the wall. Some of them were fragile, and they’d break over and over as she tried to show them. Soon, technology changed so much we couldn’t watch them anymore. The box got dustier and pushed further back in the closet.

We secretly took the box out and went to a local vendor to see if there was anything he could do. He promised to try.

A few days later he called me back. He did it!

When we gave my mother-in-law the gift that held over 50 years of her life on them, she wept.

So did I.

Way back then, when the flickering film was projected in her living room, I appreciated it, but I didn’t see it the way she did. She treasured them because life was changing and some of those precious people were no longer in her life.

I admit that sometimes I live as if my precious moments aren’t valuable. I take people for granted. I disengage as I scroll through social media, while real live people whom I love are nearby. I pile on work and activities, promising to spend time with those I love on another day.

It’s so tempting to value what has no lasting value at all and overlook what we’ll one day label a treasure.

That night, I looked around the room. I took in the faces one by one, appreciating something about each of them. I put my phone in my purse. It wasn’t nearly as important as talking to the people next to me.

We shot our own videos that day with our phones and snazzy technology. One day, we’ll look back at those and laugh. We’ll weep at who is no longer with us. We’ll talk about how young we all were.

My hope is that I’ll watch it and know I didn’t live those moments disengaged or distracted. That I engaged in my own life in the handbreadth of time I was given, valuing all those I love.

-Engaging In My Own Life by Suzie Eller