December 4, 2023

I have always thought of the word hospitality primarily for entertaining and making people feel welcome in our home. I never equated it with a way of living your life, of being in the world, as Nouwen writes in this passage below.

“Hospitality means creating a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people but to offer them a space for change to occur…Just as we cannot force a plant to grow, we can take away the weeds and stones that prevent its development, so we cannot move another to such a personal and intimate change of heart, but we can offer the space where such a change can occur.”

I love that definition of hospitality, where we begin to see our very selves as homey places to land; others can fail and grow and learn without force or coercion.

Carl Rogers, a well-renowned therapist and teacher, said, 

In my early professional years, I was asking the question: How can I treat, cure, or change this person? Now, I would ask: How can I provide a relationship that this person may use for his personal growth?

Regardless of where you live, you can be a living “house “of hospitality by providing a relationship where another person can relax and grow.

When I think of being a walking, living, breathing form of hospitality, I think of the art of listening and offering the gift of feeling understood, heard, and loved. Kind attentiveness to each other's stories brings uncommon peace between humans. It is a mystery how simply talking to a friend who cares – someone who catches and cradles your story - brings a measure of peace that cannot be dissected or analyzed. It can only be embraced and gratefully accepted.

We bring peace to each other when we show hospitality in our homes, yes, but even more so by our very lives and presence.

Intentionally Own It Reflection: You get to decide who you want to be to those around you, starting with those closest to you. How can you be a “homey” place for them to land?  How can you provide a relationship that they may use for personal growth?

-Adapted by Peace in the Storm