May 8, 2023
“What makes us human is not our mind but our heart, not our ability to think but our ability to love.” -Henri J.M. Nouwen
Recently, I have been writing about the profoundness of our character and attitude, which leads me to share a bit about my dear friend and mentor, Howard Feiertag. Just a few weeks back, he passed away, and “wow,” what an imprint his life has made on the hearts of this world!
I met Howard while working in the hospitality industry. He wrote articles for a frequently read magazine, and I always thought, “I will meet him someday.” That someday came when I attended his workshop. He has been a special part of my life ever since.
When we talk about intentionality, adopting a growth mindset, and embracing a positive stance for life—he is one we can all aspire to be a bit more like. I know I do!
I desire to be to others as he was to me. Not only did Howard have one of the most brilliant minds within the hospitality industry, but he also – by far - had the biggest heart any human being could, and he consistently shared it with everyone whom his life touched.
When I talked with Howard to capture his life insight, these are the rich lessons he provided:
Being the youngest of ten children and the only one that went on to college, Howard’s story is about choosing a positive attitude and always believing in your ability, whether others support you or not.
He was confident that his success came from helping other people improve—making a difference in their lives made a difference in his. This was not a mindset he was raised with; it’s one he took on himself in life.
Throughout his lengthy career, he found that people followed him not because of his education or background but because of who he was. No one ever looked at his resume; they were always attracted to his attitude and results.
He was a master at creating cultures people wanted to be part of because he knew how to influence momentum by listening to people. His spirit of always helping others to be successful was contagious, and people gravitated to it.
Because he believes so strongly in the power of others, he designed the Starfish Award. It was given to those who made a difference in someone else’s life. This award became his signature stamp.
Howard chose to live a life of optimism. He decided years back not to worry, complain, gossip, judge, or create negativity. Instead, his stance was to look for the good in life, and this perspective has provided him with healthy relationships, opportunities, and a mindset.
He believes in taking time for people—to listen well, not by offering suggestions for improvement yet simply listening.
As he worked with industry professionals and students worldwide, he often shared this advice:
Choose to know what’s good about you - believe it, and confidently be that.
Don’t worry about all the details of your life. The following steps will come when you do a great job where you’re at.
Always make others feel good when they see you. Show interest in them. Their life. Their story. Their world.
Help everyone you can with a selfless attitude.
Be committed to the people in your life, even the brief interactions that come your way.
Have personal standards of excellence that matter to you.
Take the initiative to offer a bright smile and intentionally choose to be a positive impact.
**The Parable Behind the Starfish Award
An older man was out for a morning walk on the beach, littered with thousands of starfish that were beached and dying after the storm. A young person picked the starfish from the sand and gently threw them into the ocean. “Why do you bother?” he asked. “There are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You cannot possibly make a difference.” The young person listened politely, paused, bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it into the sea, saying, “It made a difference for that one.”
Choose to live your life doing for one what you wish you could do for everyone!
**Embrace the one-a-day lifestyle: Daily Day-Maker! — bar 33 leadership