January 27, 2025
“When you believe in someone and demonstrate that belief, they begin believing in themselves too.” -John Maxwell
A critic is a person who expresses an unfavorable opinion of something. A coach is someone who inspires inward and forward momentum.
Recently, Harvard Business School studied the correlation between team performance and the frequency of praise and criticism from team members.
The question was: Which is more effective in improving team performance: using positive feedback to let people know when they're doing well or offering constructive comments to help them when they're off track?
The average ratio for the highest-performing teams was 5.6 (nearly six positive comments for every negative one).
The medium-performance teams averaged 1.9 (almost twice as many positive comments as negative ones).
However, the average for the low-performing teams, at 0.36 to 1, was almost three negative comments for every positive one.
American psychologist John Gottman has found similar results linking personal relationships with positive and negative comments affecting happiness.
It's counterintuitive to think that discipline or course correction can be done more successfully with positive than negative comments; however, that's how God wired us. It's important to guide those around us by sharing what we see them doing well more often than what we see them doing wrong.
No one stands taller in their leadership influence than when they pause to encourage and enrich someone else. When you believe in someone and show that belief, they also begin to believe in themselves.
Stop and think: Do I want to be a critic or a coach? Do I want to guide, encourage, and enrich the lives of others, or do I want to critique and point out where they failed?
Everyone (including yourself) deeply needs appreciation from birth to death. Feeling valued brings out the best in people. As Bob Goff states, “Most people need love and acceptance before they need advice.”
Intentionally Own It: It takes a lot more work to be a coach, but the reward of seeing those we’ve been entrusted to love, lead, serve, and grow [starting within our homes] thrive in all that God has for them is worth the extra effort!
P.S. This message holds as much truth for you as it does for how you handle others. Critical self-doubt is absolutely tormenting. Encourage yourself as David did in 1 Samual 30:6. He had a positive attitude about himself, and we should also. Remember who you are, how you’re designed, and all you are called to be. Live with a confident heart!!